WHEN FRIENDS LET YOU DOWN

When Friends Let You Down

A Devotional for Young Hearts (Ages 7-14)

Opening Thought

Has a friend ever broken a promise to you? Maybe they said they'd sit with you at lunch but chose someone else instead. Or perhaps they shared your secret, left you out of a group, or just stopped being your friend without explanation. Friend problems can hurt more than almost anything else. If you're dealing with friendship hurt right now, you're not alone—and God sees exactly what you're going through.

God's Word Says...

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity."
Proverbs 17:17 (NIV)

"I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."
John 15:15 (NIV)

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"
2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV)

When Friendship Hurts

Your Feelings Are Valid

When friends let you down, it really hurts. You might feel angry, sad, confused, or even embarrassed. These feelings are completely normal and okay to have. God doesn't expect you to just "get over it" quickly. Even Jesus felt hurt when His friend Judas betrayed Him, and when Peter denied knowing Him. It's okay to feel disappointed when people you trust let you down.

You're Not Alone in This

Friendship problems happen to everyone—even adults! King David had a best friend named Jonathan who was amazing, but he also had friends who turned against him. Jesus had close friends who sometimes didn't understand Him or even denied knowing Him when things got tough. You're in good company when you experience friendship challenges.

God Is the Friend Who Never Fails

While human friends sometimes let us down (because they're human and make mistakes), God never will. He's the friend who:

• Never breaks His promises to you

• Never talks behind your back

• Never leaves you out

• Never stops loving you, even when you mess up

• Always has time to listen

• Always wants what's best for you

This doesn't mean human friendships aren't important—they absolutely are! But it means you don't have to put all your hope in people who are learning and growing just like you are.

Different Ways Friends Can Let You Down (And How to Handle Each)

When Friends Break Promises

What it looks like: They said they'd call but didn't, promised to save you a seat but forgot, or said they'd come to your game but didn't show up.

How to handle it: Talk to them directly. They might have had a good reason, or they might have just made a mistake. People aren't perfect, and sometimes forgiveness means giving them another chance to be a better friend.

When Friends Share Your Secrets

What it looks like: You trusted them with something private, and they told other people.

How to handle it: This one really hurts because it breaks trust. You can tell them how it made you feel, but you might need to be more careful about what you share with them in the future. Some friends earn back trust over time, and others don't.

When Friends Leave You Out

What it looks like: They have a party and don't invite you, make plans in front of you without including you, or form a group that excludes you.

How to handle it: This is one of the hardest situations. Remember that their choice to exclude you says something about them, not about your worth. Look for friends who include others and want you around.

When Friendships Just Change

What it looks like: You used to be close, but now they seem different, have new interests, or just don't connect with you the same way.

How to handle it: Sometimes friendships naturally change as people grow. This is sad but normal. You can try to reconnect, but also be open to new friendships that fit who you're becoming.

The Hard Truth About Forgiveness

Forgiveness doesn't mean:

• Pretending it didn't hurt

• Automatically trusting them again right away

• Continuing to be friends if they keep hurting you

• Never talking about what happened

Forgiveness DOES mean:

• Choosing not to hold grudges or plan revenge

• Asking God to help you let go of the anger

• Being willing to give them a chance to make things right

• Remembering that you need forgiveness too sometimes

Real Talk for Real Situations

When everyone seems to have friends but you: Remember that God sees you and values you. Sometimes the best friendships take time to develop. Focus on being the kind of friend you'd want to have.

When your friend group has drama: Don't get pulled into choosing sides or spreading gossip. Be the friend who helps bring peace or who steps away from unhealthy conflict.

When you're the one who messed up: Own it, apologize sincerely, and give your friend time to heal. Show through your actions that you want to be a better friend.

When the hurt feels too big: Talk to a trusted adult—parent, teacher, or counselor. Some friend situations need grown-up help, and that's okay.

Questions to Think About

1. What kind of friend do you want to be, even when others disappoint you?

2. How can remembering God's friendship help you handle human friendship problems?

3. Is there a friend situation you need to forgive or address honestly?

4. What are the qualities you most value in a friendship?

Prayer

Dear God, friendship can be really hard sometimes. When friends let me down, help me remember that You are always faithful. Give me wisdom to know when to give someone another chance and when to set healthy boundaries. Help me to forgive others like You forgive me, and help me to be the kind of friend that reflects Your love. When I feel lonely or hurt by friends, remind me that You see me, love me, and are always with me. Help me to find good friends who will encourage me to grow closer to You. In Jesus' name, Amen.

This Week's Challenge

Day 1-2: Think about your current friendships. Which ones are healthy and encouraging? Thank God for those friends.

Day 3-4: Is there a friend situation where you need to forgive someone (including yourself)? Ask God to help you with this.

Day 5-6: Practice being the kind of friend you'd want to have. Look for someone who might be lonely and include them.

Day 7: Talk to God about any friendship concerns you have. He cares about what matters to you!

Remember This

Not every person is meant to be your close friend, and that's okay. Some people are meant to be fun classmates, others might be activity partners, and a few special people become the close friends who really know and support you. Quality matters more than quantity when it comes to friendship.

Most importantly, while friends may sometimes let you down, God never will. He's the friend who knows everything about you and loves you completely. When human friendships are confusing or painful, you can always run to Him. He's always ready to listen, always ready to comfort, and always ready to help you figure out the next right step.

You are worthy of good friendships, and with God's help, you can learn to be an amazing friend too!