The Popularity Contest

The Popularity Contest

A Devotional for Young Hearts (Ages 7-14)

Opening Thought

Have you ever watched people at school and noticed how some kids seem to have it all figured out? They're invited to every party, always have someone to sit with at lunch, and somehow everyone knows their name. Maybe you've wished you could be one of those "popular" kids. Or perhaps you've felt pressure to do certain things, wear certain clothes, or act a certain way just to fit in and be liked.

Here's a question that might surprise you: What if the popularity contest you think you're supposed to win isn't actually worth winning? What if there's something way better than being popular—and it's something you already have access to right now?

God's Word Says...

"Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant."
Galatians 1:10 (NLT)

"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe."
Proverbs 29:25 (NIV)

"But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'"
1 Samuel 16:7 (NLT)

"How can you believe since you accept glory from one another but do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?"
John 5:44 (NIV)

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters."
Colossians 3:23 (NIV)

The Truth About Popularity

Popularity Is Usually Temporary

Think about the "popular" kids from your older sibling's grade, or even from just a few years ago. Are they still the center of attention? Popularity often changes as quickly as fashion trends. What makes someone popular in elementary school might be completely different from what makes someone popular in middle school, and that changes again in high school.

Popularity Often Comes with a Hidden Cost

Many popular kids feel incredible pressure to stay popular. They might:

• Feel like they can't be themselves

• Worry constantly about what others think

• Make choices they're not comfortable with

• Feel lonely even when surrounded by people

• Struggle with the pressure to always look perfect

Popularity Doesn't Equal Happiness

Some of the most popular people are actually some of the most insecure and unhappy people. Being well-known isn't the same as being truly known and loved.

"Popularity" vs. Genuine Friendship

There's a big difference between having people who want to be around you because of your status and having people who genuinely care about you as a person. Popular kids often have lots of acquaintances but few real friends.

Biblical Examples of People Who Chose God's Approval Over Human Approval

Jesus - The Ultimate Example

Jesus could have been the most popular person of His time. He could heal people, multiply food, and perform miracles! But He chose to do what pleased God, even when it made Him unpopular with religious leaders and sometimes even His own disciples. He cared more about loving people than impressing them.

Daniel - Standing Alone for What's Right

Daniel was a young person (probably around your age!) living in a foreign country. He could have easily blended in and done what everyone else was doing to be accepted. Instead, he chose to honor God with his diet, his prayer life, and his integrity—even when it meant standing alone.

David - Chosen for His Heart, Not His Looks

When God chose David to be the future king, He didn't pick the tallest, strongest, or most impressive-looking of Jesse's sons. He chose David because of his heart. David wasn't even invited to the family dinner when the prophet came looking for the next king—his own family didn't think he was important enough!

Esther - Using Influence for Good

Esther did become popular—she became queen! But she used her influence to save her people, even though speaking up could have cost her everything. She understood that popularity and influence should be used to help others, not just to benefit yourself.

The Popularity Traps to Watch Out For

The Compromise Trap

What it looks like: Doing things you know are wrong, being mean to others, or abandoning your values to fit in with a certain group. The truth: If someone only likes you when you compromise who you are, they don't really like you—they like the fake version of you.

The Approval Addiction Trap

What it looks like: Constantly checking to see who liked your posts, obsessing over what others think, or feeling crushed when someone doesn't include you. The truth: When your happiness depends on other people's approval, you're giving them control over your emotions and self-worth.

The Image Management Trap

What it looks like: Spending all your time and energy trying to look perfect, hide your struggles, or pretend to be someone you're not. The truth: This is exhausting and prevents people from getting to know and love the real you.

The Exclusion Trap

What it looks like: Being mean to others or leaving people out to maintain your status in a group. The truth: True leadership and influence come from including others and lifting them up, not putting them down.

The Material Trap

What it looks like: Believing you need certain clothes, gadgets, or possessions to be accepted. The truth: If people only care about what you have rather than who you are, they're not the kind of friends you want anyway.

God's Better Way: Being "Popular" with the Right Person

You're Already Popular with God

Before you were even born, God was excited about you! You're not trying to win His approval—you already have it. You're His favorite (and so is everyone else, which shows how big His heart is!).

Focus on Character, Not Image

Instead of trying to manage how people see you, focus on becoming the kind of person God wants you to be:

• Kind to everyone, not just the "cool" kids

• Honest, even when it's inconvenient

• Loyal to your friends

• Generous with what you have

• Encouraging to others

Be Genuinely Interested in Others

One of the best ways to make real friends is to focus on others instead of yourself. Ask questions, listen well, remember what's important to them, and celebrate their successes.

Stand for Something Good

People respect those who have principles and stick to them. You don't have to be preachy or judgmental, but having values and living by them is attractive to the kind of people you want as friends.

Practical Ways to Handle Popularity Pressure

The "Would Jesus Do This?" Test

When you're tempted to do something to gain popularity, ask yourself: "Would Jesus handle this situation this way?" This can help you make decisions that align with your values.

The "Future Me" Test

Ask yourself: "Will the person I'm becoming by making this choice be someone I'm proud of?" Think about how your choices today are shaping who you'll be tomorrow.

The "Real Friend" Test

Ask yourself: "If I do this thing to impress people, will the people who are impressed be the kind of friends I actually want?" Often, the answer is no.

The "Sleep Well" Test

Can you make this choice and still sleep peacefully, knowing you did the right thing? Or will you feel guilty and worry about it later?

Find Your People

Instead of trying to fit in everywhere, look for people who share your values and interests. It's better to have a few genuine friends than to have many acquaintances who don't really know you.

Questions to Think About

1. Have you ever compromised your values to try to be more popular? How did it make you feel?

2. What's the difference between being kind and friendly versus trying to please everyone?

3. Who are the people whose opinions matter most to you, and why?

4. How can you use whatever influence you have to help others feel included and valued?

Prayer

Dear God, help me to care more about what You think of me than what other people think. When I'm tempted to compromise my values to fit in, give me the courage to do what's right. Help me to be genuinely kind and friendly without trying to please everyone. Show me how to be a good friend to others and help me find friends who will encourage me to grow closer to You. Remind me that I'm already loved and accepted by You, which is more valuable than being popular with anyone else. Help me to use whatever influence I have to lift others up and make them feel valued. In Jesus' name, Amen.

This Week's Challenge: The Kindness Experiment

Instead of focusing on becoming more popular this week, focus on making others feel valued and included. Try these challenges:

Day 1: Compliment someone who might not get many compliments Day 2: Sit with someone who usually sits alone or invite them to join your group Day 3: Stand up for someone who's being teased or left out Day 4: Ask someone about their interests and really listen to their answer Day 5: Help someone without expecting anything in return Day 6: Encourage someone who's going through a difficult time Day 7: Reflect on how this week felt different from trying to be popular

Notice how focusing on others instead of your own popularity affects:

• How you feel about yourself

• The quality of your relationships

• How others respond to you

• Your overall happiness and peace

Remember This

True popularity—the kind that matters—isn't about being known by the most people. It's about being genuinely loved by the right people. And you already have that with God, your family, and the friends who truly care about you.

The kids who peak in popularity during elementary or middle school often struggle later because they never learned to develop their character—they only learned to manage their image. But kids who focus on becoming genuinely good people tend to have richer, more meaningful relationships throughout their entire lives.

You don't need to win the popularity contest to have a great life. In fact, trying too hard to win it might actually prevent you from having the authentic, meaningful relationships that will bring you true joy.

God isn't interested in making you popular—He's interested in making you into the amazing person He created you to be. And that person is worth so much more than any popularity contest could ever offer.

Remember: It's better to be unpopular for the right reasons than popular for the wrong ones. When you live with integrity and kindness, you attract the kind of people who will be real friends for life. And that's worth way more than temporary popularity with people who don't really know or care about the real you.